Yeah, I am going to explode all my complaints, disagreements and dissatisfactions here. It is my own blog, why in the world should I care about what others said? I don't know what image of mine will be posed to my friends in Malaysia after this post, hope that they will understand my situation. Anyway, it is not about them. It is about my current class, 1209.
Well, not been talking about the real "me" the past few days. Been keeping things to myself because I thought things will turn out better after a few days. However, it just so did not happen my way. I always gave myself an excuse not to blog about this kind of stuffs. People will think that I am getting sympathy from them. People will think that I am so freaking and f**king sensitive. People will think that I am so irritating in writing bad things about them. People will even ignore me more. People will even stop to befriend me. Well, this time round, I don't care. Yeah, I am getting your sympathy for even posting this. So what? Stop reading la !
I thought I had made good friends here. Actually true la, now that my friendships with the direct scholars got better. It is perhaps a new beginning. Suang Fu, Yvette, Richard, Ho Kit, Krystle and Belinda as well as Indongirl (not Indonmee), Wennie are welcoming me. At first, really should not even listen to people who influenced me not to befriend them. Yeah, in the end, it's my own decision. What shit that they would stick to their own clique. What shit is that? Now our friendships are even stronger and we still make good friends okay? Hope that things will turn out better for all of us and we will stay in Parry Hall, together.
On the other hand, in my site, been quite in good communication with Zhehan, Stanley and Yong Khang. Bong gradually left us. Know the reason but respect his decision. Zane, still the same, both of us have different opinions. Anyway, I am still trying very hard to get to talk to him. Give me some time ! Had some misunderstandings with Zhehan and Stanley before this but now things got even better, better than last time I supposed. Hope so la. Hope that Stanley's and Yong Khang's class will be good la, after hearing to Yong Khang. Anyway, they obviously will not turn into a situation like mine now.
For Asean Comm, I just cannot live without them. Exaggerated a bit. I can live without them one la. Just that they brightened up my life even more. Although all of us have different personalities, academic results and sizes, we still can suit each other. Cannot wait to join another outing with them ! Hope that things and our relationships will even get stronger and we will get more bonded. Asean Comm ROX !
I also have a very supportive group of cell members. Although most of them are juniors, they are just like my younger brothers (yeah, I don't have siblings) whom I will ask for advice. They really helped me a lot. Prayed for me too which I think not everyone can do that. Looking forward to future activities like XMAS !
LINE ADDED : THE FOLLOWING PART MAY CAUSE YOU BURST INTO ANGER AND START HATING ME, GO AHEAD IF YOU WANNA BEAR THE RISK OR YOU DO NOT CARE ANYMORE. THANKS !
If you realised now, I am still not exploding myself. I, do think that it is better to taste the bitter first then the sweet thing but this time, I think if I taste the bitter first, I will not have the mood to even taste the sweet. Haiz, yeah, got some problems with my class. Actually, cannot say my class la. Firstly, my class is not very bonded already. Segregated one. Lack class spirit which I can see from other classes. It's my point of view la. People may argue that our class got damn good class spirit, considering our performance during the sandcastle building event. Again, it's my own opinion, I don't care what you think la. Also, I'm not trying to make my class looks bad, so that I can make it easier for me to elaborate on what actually happened. My problem is my problem. Class problem is class problem plus my problem. I won't mix them up. So the point is, my class lacks class spirit. I tried to help but always in vain. Okay la, we should prioritise our studies first. True la. So actually I am just referring to certain class members. Basically, my class divided to a few cliques one which I think is not necessary. Anyway, I heard all classes also like that haiz, so actually nevermind one.
So come to my own problem, been quite ignored by my classmates these few days. Yeah, I'm going to explode. I admit that I'm freaking sensitive a**hole. Observed a lot of things. Actually observed long time ago. Damn lot that led me to believe that I don't belong to them anymore. Okay, at first, I always hang around with this clique, not clique la actually, almost the whole class. Who ar? Let me think ar. My class got who ar, let me think first ar, guys got Nick, Guo Jie, Adwin, Jun Hao, Sivah, Sze Howe, Ho Kit, Mun Aw, Kris, Hardy, Nathaniel, Andy, Wei Rong, Eric and me. I really think that I should not group my classmates like this but this can allow me to have a clear analysis. Wahpia. To be honest, I am quite close to Adwin, Nick, Guo Jie, Hardy, Nathaniel, Andy, Wei Rong, Sze Howe, Jun Hao and Ho Kit. For Ho Kit, it's because that we are in the same hostel and he is one of the direct scholars. Wei Rong, Andy, Hardy, Sze Howe and Nathaniel are what I so called neutral and are okay with anything. Perhaps they are not okay with me, I don't know haha. See told you that I am sensitive right. Yeah, so the problems are with Guo Jie, Adwin, Nick and Jun Hao. Actually for Jun Hao, also nothing much one lor. He quite a joker. I can admit that I tried very hard to join this clique but again, in vain. Don't know why leh. It's like no matter how much I did right, they will not care much, much la, about me. Got a few examples, yeah, you can say that again, I am just being too sensitive, but it's my own F**CKING blog okay? Take for example, Nick, last time, he tagged all other friends, like Jac, Hui Shan and others la, in the end left me out. Then one time was even more evident. Yeah, I went to study this kind of stuff instead of doing Maths. Stupid right? Don't let me repeat that sentence again. So that was this note that asked Nick to tag on all friends based on different things la and friends got to guess which was Nick referring to. So, at first he tagged me, I went to guess la. Guessed don't know what shit already. Then he came out with the same note, with a damn long list of friends. And then I went searching. My name wasn't there anymore. So, perhaps I thought it was a new list. So I compared both old and new one, haha, to my surprise, I was the only one. As in, I just don't know what I did you know? You guys in front of me like nothing like that, then I thought you guys treated me as your good friend, in the end, this kind of thing happened. Some more, still got what ar, still at Nick, these few days, I knew he had been doing this Facebook quiz la about friends one. I don't know la, perhaps I am really sensitive la. Got damn lot of questions about our classmates. Many have. I was left out again. Anyway, this was not a good example because there may be really no question asked about me la.
So move on to Adwin, this friend, I really hope he's a good one. Again the same thing happened la. In front of me like very good, then I don't even know what happened one. Like today, there was this grouping for Science Research Programme. I was right in front of him you know, he did not even care to ask whether I am interested to join or anything. Aiya, I was like damn sad anyway. Sensitive again huh? As in, I don't mind not joining, just that you can't even ask whether I am interested or not? I know that the Jac incident had more or less some effects on the friendship between him and me. But it's like, in front of me, he would advise me but in the end, whether he is a sincere friend, I don't know leh. I should not doubt him. Yeah, I agree. I am giving myself a lot of reasons and excuses not to doubt him. Don't know la. That's what happened. Adwin, are you a sincere friend? Sometimes you seem very concerned about me but I don't know what you're thinking one you know? Okay la, maybe it's my own problems.
For Guo Jie, I can tell you that he's a damn good friend. But this guy ar, just debated too much la. Oops, actually he did not contribute to these problems. I wanna praise him though. He is a really a sincere friend. No doubt. Just that sometimes ar, me and him ar, I am quite a defensive guy. So when w are two together, we always argue about small things. But I would usually let him win haha. The problem is I let him win in a sarcastic manner, which in the end will make him not happy. So, it's actually my fault for doing this. Sorry, Guo Jie. Guo Jie, by the way, I'm not that unpredictable one. Really sorry for being sarcastic. I know the way to deal with you already. Punch you right on the face and make you shut up ! Haha, joking la. We will argue less. Trust me !
To end off, you can say that I don't the rights to talk about anyone. Which is damn true. But hor, if you would have stop reading ar, you won't even know what I am saying lor. Yeah, I am also not a perfect guy, I am a stupid a**hole, no manners, always make people angry and many others la. I also don't know why I came up with this post. My mind is like asking myself that should I publish this post? I don't care la. If you guys angry, angry la. Oh yeah, this post may end my relationships with some friends. Or even more friends. Oops forgot to put my signature. SIGNATURE ADDED !
Joo Fei
